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A small boy with this pet dog who is wearing a red superman cape.

SUPPORT FOR CHILDREN

Supporting Your Children Through the Loss of a Beloved Pet

Losing a pet can be a heartbreaking experience for anyone, especially for children. As a parent or caregiver, it's crucial to provide the necessary support and understanding during this difficult time. Every child's grieving process is unique, and they may express their emotions differently. To help you navigate through this challenging period, here are some suggestions on how to support your children after the loss of their beloved pet:


Communicate in an Age-Appropriate Manner

When discussing the loss with your child, it's essential to tailor your explanation to their age and level of understanding. Be honest yet gentle, using simple and clear language. Let them know what happened or is going to happen in a way they can comprehend. Acknowledge their emotions and reassure them that it's okay to feel sad or cry.


Respect Their Timing

During the process of saying goodbye to a pet, respect your child's choice if they prefer not to be present or participate directly. Offer alternative ways to express their emotions, such as writing a letter or creating a drawing that can be shared or kept privately with the pet. Allow them to have a say in how they want to say goodbye, ensuring their wishes are respected.


Pay Attention to the Days After

After the loss, children may exhibit signs of being quieter or withdrawn. This is a normal response to grief. Encourage open communication by spending quality time together. Initiate conversations about their feelings and encourage them to express what they are experiencing. Ask them how you can support them and what activities or rituals might bring them comfort. Whenever appropriate, try to fulfil their requests or engage in activities that can help them cope.


Encourage Expression of Emotions

Children may not fully understand or be able to articulate their grief. Encourage them to express their feelings in ways that feel natural to them, whether it's talking, writing, drawing, or engaging in play therapy. Assure them that all emotions are valid and that it's healthy to mourn the loss of a beloved pet.


Create Opportunities for Remembrance

Support your child in creating a lasting memory of their pet. This could involve making a memorial, planting a tree or flower in the pet's honour, or creating a scrapbook with photos and cherished memories. Encourage storytelling, as it allows your child to reminisce and process their emotions.


Losing a pet can be a significant loss for a child, and it's essential to be there for them during this challenging time. By communicating openly, respecting their emotions and choices, and providing opportunities for expression and remembrance, you can help them navigate the grieving process and find solace in the memories they shared with their beloved companion. Remember that each child's grieving journey is unique, and seeking professional guidance or counselling can be beneficial if needed.

Learn More

If at any point you have concerns about your child or someone in your family, please seek support from a mental health practitioner. You could also explore the other topics for more information and ideas or contact the Resource Centre to request a support information pack. Click the link below.

Find out more
A  beloved white pet dog being kissed by his owners.

SUPPORT FOR ADULTS

Nurturing Support for Adults Mourning the Loss of a Beloved Pet

Losing a cherished pet can be an emotionally overwhelming experience for adults. The bond we form with our furry companions often runs deep, and their absence can leave a profound void in our lives. During this time of grief, it is important to provide support and understanding to those mourning the loss of a beloved pet. Here are some suggestions to help adults navigate the grieving process and find solace in their memories:


Validate the Grief Experience

Recognise that grieving the loss of a pet is a legitimate and natural process. Understand that the bond between humans and animals can be deeply profound, and the pain experienced upon their passing is genuine. Avoid downplaying or dismissing the significance of the loss, and assure the grieving individual that their emotions are valid.


Encourage Expression of Emotions

Grief can manifest in various ways, and it is essential to create a safe space for adults to express their emotions freely. Encourage them to share their feelings openly, whether it's through talking, writing in a journal, or engaging in creative outlets like painting or music. Active listening and empathy can provide immense comfort during this time.


Seek Support from Understanding Individuals

Encourage grieving adults to reach out to trusted friends, family members, or support groups who can empathise with their loss. Connecting with others who have experienced similar grief can provide a sense of validation and understanding. Online communities and forums can also offer a supportive network for sharing stories, memories, and coping strategies.


Practice Self-Care 

Remind grieving adults to prioritise self-care during this challenging period. Encourage them to engage in activities that promote their well-being, such as exercise, spending time in nature, practicing mindfulness, or seeking solace in hobbies or interests. Taking care of one's physical and emotional health is crucial in the healing process.


Rituals and Remembrance

Suggest the creation of meaningful rituals or memorials to honour the life of the departed pet. This could involve holding a small ceremony, creating a memory box with mementos, or planting a tree or garden in their memory. Encourage them to reminisce about their pet by looking through photos, writing letters, or sharing stories with others.


Seek Professional Support if Needed While support from loved ones is invaluable, sometimes the grieving process may require additional assistance. Suggest that adults consider seeking guidance from grief counsellor or therapists who specialise in pet loss. These professionals can provide personalised strategies and coping mechanisms to navigate the unique challenges of mourning a beloved pet. Click the "Find Out More" button for resources.


Losing a beloved pet is a significant loss that can profoundly impact adults. By acknowledging and validating their grief, encouraging emotional expression, fostering a supportive network, promoting self-care, and exploring meaningful rituals, we can assist in the healing process. Remember, grief is a personal journey, and each individual may cope differently. Encourage seeking professional help when necessary and remind them that the memories and love shared with their pet will forever hold a special place in their hearts.

Learn More

If at any point you have concerns about yourself or someone in your family, please seek support from a mental health practitioner. You could also explore the other topics in the section for more information and ideas or contact the Resource Centre to request a support information pack.

Find out more
An older man holding his small pet dog on his shoulder.

SUPPORT FOR A FRIEND

Supporting a Friend Through the Loss of a Beloved Pet

When a friend experiences the loss of a pet, it can be challenging to find the right words or actions to offer comfort. Pets often become integral members of our families and provide unwavering companionship throughout our lives. Whether their pet was their sole consistent companion, a long-standing family member, or the loss was a tragic circumstance, supporting a grieving friend requires empathy and understanding. Here are some ways you can offer support during this difficult time:


Express Your Sympathy

Acknowledge your friend's loss and express your condolences. A simple and heartfelt message can provide immense comfort. You can send a thoughtful card, write a sincere note, or even offer a small keepsake that symbolises their pet or their special bond. Let them know that you're there for them and that they are not alone in their grief. Something as simple as a card or a small keepsake can let them know they're not alone. Head over to our Products page for some thoughtful gift ideas that may help ease the pain. 


Listen with Empathy

Be a compassionate listener for your friend. Grieving the loss of a pet can bring forth a wide range of emotions. Allow them to share their memories, stories, and feelings without judgment or interruption. Offer a non-judgmental space where they can openly express their grief and provide a shoulder to lean on during this difficult time.


Validate Their Feelings

Understand that your friend's grief is genuine and valid. Avoid minimising or dismissing their emotions, even if you may not fully comprehend the depth of their bond with their pet. Assure them that their feelings are natural and that it's okay to mourn the loss of a beloved companion.


Offer Practical Support

Practical assistance can alleviate some of the burdens that come with pet loss. Offer to help with tasks such as arranging for pet memorial services, making phone calls, or accompanying them to veterinarian visits, if needed. Small gestures like preparing a meal, running errands, or taking care of routine tasks can also provide much-needed support during this time of grief.


Share Happy Memories

Encourage your friend to reminisce about the joyful moments they shared with their pet. Share your own fond memories or stories if you had the opportunity to know their furry companion. Celebrating the happy times can help shift the focus from their loss to the positive impact their pet had on their lives.


Respect Their Grieving Process

Recognise that everyone grieves differently, and your friend may need time and space to heal. Respect their boundaries and allow them to navigate their grief at their own pace. Check in on them regularly, letting them know you're there whenever they need someone to lean on or talk to.


Supporting a friend who has lost a beloved pet requires sensitivity, empathy, and patience. By expressing your sympathy, actively listening, validating their feelings, offering practical assistance, sharing happy memories, and respecting their grieving process, you can provide invaluable support during this challenging time. Remember, the pain of losing a pet can be profound, and your presence and understanding can make a significant difference.

Learn More

If at any point you have concerns about a friend, please seek support from a mental health practitioner. You could also explore the other topics in the section for more information and ideas or contact the Resource Centre to request a support information pack.

Find out more
A sad golden pet dog laying on the couch grieving for his companion. There is also a cat.

SUPPORT FOR OTHER PETS AT HOME

Supporting Grieving Pets at Home

When a beloved pet passes away, the loss isn't limited to humans alone. Other pets in the household may also experience grief and require support during this challenging time. Cats, dogs, and other animals can exhibit signs of mourning and may benefit from our understanding and care. Here are some ways to help your other pets cope with the loss and provide them with the comfort they need:


Provide Comfort Objects 

For cats and dogs, comforting objects like soft toys or cozy blankets can offer solace during their grieving process. These items provide a sense of companionship and can be snuggled into, mimicking the presence of their departed companion. Placing the toy or blanket in their sleeping area or favorite spot can help them find comfort and security.


Offer Extra Physical Interactions

Pets such as birds, rabbits, or small mammals may require increased physical interactions to help them cope with the loss. Spend additional time with them, providing gentle strokes, cuddles, or playtime. Physical contact can be reassuring and help alleviate any distress they may be experiencing.


Avoid Prolonged Separation

During the initial period of grief, it's important to minimize prolonged periods of separation from your other pets. They may feel a sense of loss or confusion, and being left alone for extended periods can intensify these emotions. If possible, adjust your schedule to spend more time at home or enlist the help of a trusted caregiver to provide companionship in your absence.


Observe Behavioural Changes

Keep a close eye on your other pets for any behavioural changes that may indicate their grief. Loss of appetite, increased vocalisation, withdrawal, or changes in sleep patterns can be signs of distress. If you notice any concerning behaviours, consult with a veterinarian to ensure your pet's physical and emotional well-being.


Maintain Routine and Familiarity

Pets find comfort in routine, so try to maintain their usual schedule and provide a sense of familiarity. Stick to regular feeding times, exercise routines, and play sessions. Consistency can help provide stability during a time of emotional upheaval.


Patience and Reintroduction

Understand that each pet will have a unique grieving process, and it may take time for their personalities to return to normal. Be patient and allow them the space they need to heal. If you have multiple pets, reintroduce them gradually and monitor their interactions. Some pets may need time to adjust to the absence of their companion and may require extra reassurance and attention.


When a pet passes away, it's essential to remember that other pets in the household may also be affected by the loss. By providing comfort objects, offering extra physical interactions, avoiding prolonged separation, observing behavioral changes, maintaining routine, and practicing patience during the reintroduction process, we can support our grieving pets. Ensuring their emotional well-being is crucial as they navigate their own grief and adjust to the changes in their furry family.

Learn More

Check out our Products Page for some super snuggly comfort options.

Shop Comfort Products
A small pet dog sitting on a log with his back to the camera.

THINGS TO CONSIDER

Considerations When Coping with the Loss of a Pet

When a beloved pet passes away, it is important to consider various factors as you navigate through the grieving process and make decisions regarding their final resting place. Pets come in all sizes, and each family's circumstances may influence the options available. Here are some important considerations when coping with the loss of your pet:


Burial within the Family Garden

For many pet owners, the option of burying their pet within the family garden can be a comforting choice. It provides a tangible place to visit and remember their beloved companion. Sitting in that serene spot can offer solace and serve as a healing space for reflection. However, it is essential to consider future circumstances, such as renting or potential relocation, before choosing this option.


Cremation as an Alternative 

If burial is not feasible or practical, cremation offers an alternative option. Similar to human cremation, this process involves the careful handling of your pet's remains. After cremation, you will receive their ashes in an urn or container. This provides flexibility in deciding how to honour your pet's memory. Do be mindful of the costs associated with cremation. It's wise to call your local pet crematorium to discuss options before making your decision.  


Scattering or Preserving Ashes

After cremation, you may choose to scatter your pet's ashes in a favourite location that holds special meaning for both of you. It could be a park, beach, or any place that resonates with cherished memories. It is important to check your local council regulations first though. 

Alternatively, you may prefer to keep the ashes in a special location at home. Many crematoriums offer a variety of urn options if you wish to have a dedicated keepsake. Our product page also provides a selection of urn options for consideration.


Practical and Emotional Considerations

While making decisions about your pet's final resting place, consider both practical and emotional factors. Think about what feels right for you and your family. Reflect on your pet's personality, preferences, and the bond you shared. Consider how each option aligns with your future plans and the significance it holds in honouring your pet's memory.


Seek Guidance and Support

During this difficult time, it can be helpful to seek guidance and support from professionals or pet loss support groups. They can provide valuable advice, answer any questions you may have, and offer understanding throughout the decision-making process. Your local Veterinary Club is also a great resource. If you are based within New Zealand you can use the NZVA website to find your local vet. 


When your pet passes away, it is important to carefully consider your options for their final resting place. Whether choosing burial within the family garden, opting for cremation with scattering or preservation of ashes, or seeking a keepsake urn, each decision should reflect your unique circumstances and the meaningful bond you shared with your pet. Remember to seek support and take the time you need to grieve, honouring the love and companionship your pet brought into your life.

Learn More

For more information and pricing for these options we recommend contacting your local Veterinary clinic, SPCA or Pet Shelter.  

Find out more

thank you to these organisations for your support

Skylight logo. We specialise in grief, loss and trauma.

SKYLIGHT

First Vets Whanganui

SKYLIGHT

Skylight support people of all ages throughout New Zealand who are facing any kind of tough life situation, but specialise in grief, loss and trauma.


Learn more
SPCA has been protecting animals who are sick, injured, neglected, abused or simply abandoned.

SPCA NZ

First Vets Whanganui

SKYLIGHT

​Together with our communities, SPCA has been protecting New Zealand’s animals for 150 years – animals who are sick, injured, neglected, abused or simply abandoned.

Learn more

First Vets Whanganui

First Vets Whanganui

First Vets Whanganui

At First Vets we have onsite veterinarians for health checks, vaccinations, surgical/dental services, pet emergency care with separate dog & cat clinics.


Learn more

Cremate a Mate

Cremate a Mate

First Vets Whanganui

At Cremate-a-Mate we provide peace of mind during this final stage of your pet’s journey.

We offer a range of options to memorialise your pet.


Learn more

NZVA

Cremate a Mate

NZVA

The New Zealand Veterinary Association is a fantastic resource centre for pet owners.

To find your local Veterinary Clinic click below.


Learn more
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